The Smile Corner!!!
- desert_hawk
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The Smile Corner!!!
Some newly married friends were chatting when the topic of children came up.
The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, you'd better love the third one as if it's your own."
The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, you'd better love the third one as if it's your own."
FJCRUISER
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
- desert_hawk
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The Smile Corner!!!
A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words.
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.
Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride.
She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you.
Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' ....
....so, here we are!"
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words.
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.
Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride.
She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you.
Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.
Then, as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' ....
....so, here we are!"
FJCRUISER
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
-
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
— boy, I need some onion
— sorry, mam, we don't have onion at the moment
— I don't care, I need some onion
— but mam, we don't have onion in the market right now
— you don't understand me, I need some onion
— well, mam, lets check your english. How many letters "p" in the word "apple"?
— two
— right, mam. and how many letters "t" in the word "letter"?
— two
— right mam. and how many "f**ck" in the word "onion"?
— but there is no "f**ck" in "onion"
— right, mam, there is no f**ckin onion
— sorry, mam, we don't have onion at the moment
— I don't care, I need some onion
— but mam, we don't have onion in the market right now
— you don't understand me, I need some onion
— well, mam, lets check your english. How many letters "p" in the word "apple"?
— two
— right, mam. and how many letters "t" in the word "letter"?
— two
— right mam. and how many "f**ck" in the word "onion"?
— but there is no "f**ck" in "onion"
— right, mam, there is no f**ckin onion
Grand Cherokee
056-644-9043
056-644-9043
- desert_hawk
- Advanced
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- Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:53 pm
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- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
FJCRUISER
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
Stars do not make a driver, the driver makes the stars.
Don't think how many moments in your life, just think how much life is there in a moment.
- Dune_Phantom
- Advanced
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- Location: Abu Dhabi Mall
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
A naked & drunken woman boards a cab in NY. Driver of the cab, an Indian, keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.
Woman: Haven't you seen a naked woman before?
Indian : Cool it ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me?
Woman: Haven't you seen a naked woman before?
Indian : Cool it ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me?
The Phantom - Ghost Who drives in the Dunes...
- Dune_Phantom
- Advanced
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The Smile Corner!!!
Too good!desert_hawk wrote:Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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The Phantom - Ghost Who drives in the Dunes...
- The_Kraken
- Intermediate
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
LIKE...desert_hawk wrote:Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
THE KRAKEN - +971529115666
Jeep Wrangler 2012
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GT wheels
Trips:
ANIT - 2 Briefing Done and first star achieved
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Jeep Wrangler 2012
Stage 3+ Clutch upgrade
aFe Power MagnumFORCE Stage-2 PRO 5R Intake System
aFe MACH Force XP Exhaust System
TeraFlex 2.5" Lift
TeraFlex Front Drive Shaft
Cooper ST MAXX Tyres
GT wheels
Trips:
ANIT - 2 Briefing Done and first star achieved
Newbie - 8 Second star Achieved
Intermediate - 1
- alezz
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- Location: Dubai
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Trips: ANIT(2), Newbie(18), Intermediate(14), GPS Hunt 2014
055 200 10 92
Putin = Hitler.v.2
Who is your friend you will know in disaster. And who is your foe also
055 200 10 92
Putin = Hitler.v.2
Who is your friend you will know in disaster. And who is your foe also
- Smiley
- Marshal
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- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:00 am
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
One Friday a man decided not to go home, rather to stay out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire week's pay.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife, who shouted and yelled for nearly two hours about how irresponsible he was. Finally when she stopped, she said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me."
So Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife, who shouted and yelled for nearly two hours about how irresponsible he was. Finally when she stopped, she said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me."
So Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Brave Mädchen kommen in den Himmel, die anderen kommen überall hin...
(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)
0506610184
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(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)
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- MalteJK
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Some work related jokes ...
---------------
"I know this great UDP joke but you might not get it"
---------------
An IPv4 address space walks into a bar: "A strong CIDR please. I'm
exhausted."
---------------
IPv6 walks into a bar, ordered something to drink, but nobody understood
him.
---------------
So, this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house,
Irish, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor...
---------------
- Knock Knock.
- Who's there?
very long pause
- Java.
---------------
"I know this great UDP joke but you might not get it"
---------------
An IPv4 address space walks into a bar: "A strong CIDR please. I'm
exhausted."
---------------
IPv6 walks into a bar, ordered something to drink, but nobody understood
him.
---------------
So, this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house,
Irish, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor...
---------------
- Knock Knock.
- Who's there?
very long pause
- Java.
http://www.oryx4x4.com
“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.
#green Jk Sahara ( totally stock ) ( 2013 -
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phone : 0567786537
lead: Newbie(2) Intermediate(11), Advanced(5)
“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.
#green Jk Sahara ( totally stock ) ( 2013 -
#green Jk Sport ( totally struck ) ( 2013 - 2013 )
#white nissan badroll(stuck) ( 2012-2013 )
#silver jk Sahara unlimited ( stock ) ( 2010- )
phone : 0567786537
lead: Newbie(2) Intermediate(11), Advanced(5)
- akhateeb
- Posts: 684
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- Location: Discovery Gardens - Dubai
The Smile Corner!!!
LOOOOL those are too geeky!!MalteJK wrote:Some work related jokes ...
---------------
All jokes in this corner are great.. Glad the thread was revived
Every man dies ... Not every man REALLY lives!
Ayman 0508144630
_________________________
[*] 2014: Nissan Xterra 2014.. Stock except the front bumper..
[*] 2013-2014: Wrangler TJ, 3" Lift, Borla Catback, Roll Cage, Warn Bumpers & Winch, 2 ARB Lockers.. we're almost there!!
[*] 2012-2014: Infinity QX4, OME coils & Shocks around 20 mm additional height, 265x70x16 Cooper AT3 tires, custom pathy bumper, K&N filter ... !
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Total Trips since Sep 2012 : 54 Trips
Last updated: 25-NOV-2013
Ayman 0508144630
_________________________
[*] 2014: Nissan Xterra 2014.. Stock except the front bumper..
[*] 2013-2014: Wrangler TJ, 3" Lift, Borla Catback, Roll Cage, Warn Bumpers & Winch, 2 ARB Lockers.. we're almost there!!
[*] 2012-2014: Infinity QX4, OME coils & Shocks around 20 mm additional height, 265x70x16 Cooper AT3 tires, custom pathy bumper, K&N filter ... !
[*] Audi A6 for the lovely wife...
Total Trips since Sep 2012 : 54 Trips
Last updated: 25-NOV-2013
- Smiley
- Marshal
- Posts: 1340
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:00 am
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
Ok, here is one for Malte:
One day a frog called out to a man, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." But the man just bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog said, "If you turn me back into a princess, I will be yours for a week." The man smiled at the frog, but did nothing.
The frog cried,"If you turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a Year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the same reaction.
Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll be yours for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
One day a frog called out to a man, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." But the man just bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog said, "If you turn me back into a princess, I will be yours for a week." The man smiled at the frog, but did nothing.
The frog cried,"If you turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a Year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the same reaction.
Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll be yours for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Brave Mädchen kommen in den Himmel, die anderen kommen überall hin...
(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)
0506610184
DESNAV-Founder
first female Marshal
(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)
0506610184
DESNAV-Founder
first female Marshal
- zeer
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
Eyad Harb - 0501234066
One for All & All for One
"BANNA WAS A GOOD MAN..MISSED BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN"
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----2013--- Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(12)(04) Intermediate(17)(05) Advance(21)(03) Expert(04)(00) TOTAL (55)/(12)
One for All & All for One
"BANNA WAS A GOOD MAN..MISSED BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN"
DesNav2011 / DesNav2012 / DesNav2013 / JeeP Jamboree 2013 / Desert Clean / EDC trainer / Sanid Leader
2010-2012 Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(27)(02) Intermediate(60)(10) Advance(19)(02) Expert(02)(01) TOTAL (108)/(15)
----2013--- Trips (counter)/(lead): Newbie(12)(04) Intermediate(17)(05) Advance(21)(03) Expert(04)(00) TOTAL (55)/(12)
- MalteJK
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Re: The Smile Corner!!!
good one @smiley
here is another one :
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
_______another one___:
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
here is another one :
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
_______another one___:
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
http://www.oryx4x4.com
“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.
#green Jk Sahara ( totally stock ) ( 2013 -
#green Jk Sport ( totally struck ) ( 2013 - 2013 )
#white nissan badroll(stuck) ( 2012-2013 )
#silver jk Sahara unlimited ( stock ) ( 2010- )
phone : 0567786537
lead: Newbie(2) Intermediate(11), Advanced(5)
“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live”
c.b.
#green Jk Sahara ( totally stock ) ( 2013 -
#green Jk Sport ( totally struck ) ( 2013 - 2013 )
#white nissan badroll(stuck) ( 2012-2013 )
#silver jk Sahara unlimited ( stock ) ( 2010- )
phone : 0567786537
lead: Newbie(2) Intermediate(11), Advanced(5)
- Smiley
- Marshal
- Posts: 1340
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:00 am
- Location: Abu Dhabi
Re: The Smile Corner!!!
excellent!
Brave Mädchen kommen in den Himmel, die anderen kommen überall hin...
(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)
0506610184
DESNAV-Founder
first female Marshal
(Good Girls go to heaven, the other ones go everywhere...)
0506610184
DESNAV-Founder
first female Marshal